Quotes by Woody Allen

I've often said, the only thing standing between me and greatness is me

#Goodness

I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government.

#Government

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through...

#Achievement, #Funny, #Immortality

If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything...

#Failure, #Innovation

If my film makes one more person miserable, I've done my job

#Funny, #Movies

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

#Money, #Poverty

Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will...

#Poverty

I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my...

#Parents

There are two types of people in this world, good and bad. The good sleep...

#People

My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.

#Regret

I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.

#Sense Of Humor

Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.

#Funny, #Sex, #Smoking