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Acting deals with very delicate emotions. It is not putting up a mask. Each time...

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Acting deals with very delicate emotions. It is not putting up a mask. Each time...

I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an...

I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an...

My mother never breast fed me, she told me she only liked me as a...

My mother never breast fed me, she told me she only liked me as a...

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she...

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she...

My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion....

My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion....

On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me.

On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me.

My uncle's dying wish - he wanted me on his lap. He was in the...

My uncle's dying wish - he wanted me on his lap. He was in the...

I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a...

I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a...

My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.

My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.

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When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.

My wife is always trying to get rid of me. The other day she told...

My wife is always trying to get rid of me. The other day she told...

At my age, I'm envious of a stiff wind.

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At my age, I'm envious of a stiff wind.

My wife met me at the door the other night in a sexy negligee. Unfortunately,...

My wife met me at the door the other night in a sexy negligee. Unfortunately,...

I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then...

I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then...

My wife wants sex in the back of the car and she wants me to...

My wife wants sex in the back of the car and she wants me to...

I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life....

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I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life....

A girl phoned me the other day and said... 'Come on over, there's nobody home.'...

A girl phoned me the other day and said... 'Come on over, there's nobody home.'...

I came from a real tough neighborhood. I put my hand in some cement and...

I came from a real tough neighborhood. I put my hand in some cement and...