I get no respect. The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest.
Quote by Rodney Dangerfield
Rodney Dangerfield Quotes
I told my psychiatrist everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous; everyone hasn't...
I have good looking kids. Thank goodness my wife cheats on me.
I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.
I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous -...
I met the surgeon general - he offered me a cigarette.
When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother.
Life is just a bowl of pits.
My marriage is on the rocks again, yeah, my wife just broke up with her...
I was so poor growing up...if I wasn't a boy...I'd have nothing to play with.
My wife is always trying to get rid of me. The other day she told...
I was so ugly my mother used to feed me with a sling shot.
In the school I went to, they asked a kid to prove the law of...
My marriage is on the rocks again; yeah, my wife just broke up with her...
When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.
I saved a girl from being attacked last night. I controlled myself.
Men who do things without being told draw the most wages.
Some dog I got too. We call him Egypt. Because in every room he leaves...
My wife met me at the door the other night in a sexy negligee. Unfortunately,...
What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bee and...
I worked in a pet store and people would ask how big I would get.