I get no respect. The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest.
Quote by Rodney Dangerfield
Rodney Dangerfield Quotes
In the school I went to, they asked a kid to prove the law of...
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet.
I came from a real tough neighborhood. I put my hand in some cement and...
At my age, I'm envious of a stiff wind.
My wife met me at the door the other night in a sexy negligee. Unfortunately,...
Yeah, I know I'm ugly...I said to a bartender, 'Make me a zombie.' He said...
Life is just a bowl of pits.
This morning when I put on my underwear I could hear the fruit-of-the-loom guys laughing...
I'm so ugly - My father carries around a picture of the kid who came...
When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.
Men who do things without being told draw the most wages.
What a dog I got, his favorite bone is in my arm.
I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.
I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger...
I was so ugly my mother used to feed me with a sling shot.
The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest.
I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.
Whoever said Marriage is a 50-50 proposition laid the foundation for more divorce fees than...
If we must lose wife or husband when we live to our highest right, we...
Discourage litigation. Persuade your neighbors to compromise whenever you can. As a peacemaker the lawyer...
Try praising your wife, even if it does frighten her at first