I get no respect. The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest.
Quote by Rodney Dangerfield
Rodney Dangerfield Quotes
I looked up my family tree and found three dogs using it.
Most of the arguments to which I am party fall somewhat short of being impressive,...
I came from a real tough neighborhood. I put my hand in some cement and...
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met
My wife wants sex in the back of the car and she wants me to...
This morning when I put on my underwear I could hear the fruit-of-the-loom guys laughing...
I'm so ugly - My father carries around a picture of the kid who came...
I have good looking kids. Thank goodness my wife cheats on me.
When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother.
I was so ugly my mother used to feed me with a sling shot.
I was so poor growing up...if I wasn't a boy...I'd have nothing to play with.
It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she...
I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.
I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.
On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me.
My wife is always trying to get rid of me. The other day she told...
What a dog I got, his favorite bone is in my arm.
A girl phoned me the other day and said... 'Come on over, there's nobody home.'...
Some dog I got too. We call him Egypt. Because in every room he leaves...
My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion....