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No-one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend

No-one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend

I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.

I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.

Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book -and does

Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book -and does

Marriage is a wonderful institution...but who wants to live in an institution?

Marriage is a wonderful institution...but who wants to live in an institution?

My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.

My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.

Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.

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Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

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I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.

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Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.

Humor is reason gone mad.

Humor is reason gone mad.

The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and...

The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and...

Home is where you hang your head

Home is where you hang your head

Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?

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Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.

I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff...

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I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff...

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into...

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into...

Do you mind if I don't smoke ?

Do you mind if I don't smoke ?

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does

No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.

,

No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.