Why isn't my life like a situation comedy? Why don't I have a bunch of friends with nothing better to do but drop by and instigate wacky adventures? Why aren't my conversations peppered with spontaneous witticisms? Why don't my friends…

Quote by Bill Watterson

Topics: Comedy Quotes, Life Quotes

Talking with you is sort of the conversational equivalent of an out of body experience.

Talking with you is sort of the conversational equivalent of an out of body experience.

I find my life is a lot easier the lower I keep everyone's expectations.

I find my life is a lot easier the lower I keep everyone's expectations.

I say, when life gives you a lemon, wing it right back and add some...

I say, when life gives you a lemon, wing it right back and add some...

Genius is never understood in its own time.

Genius is never understood in its own time.

I know the world isn't fair, but why isn't it ever unfair in my favor?

I know the world isn't fair, but why isn't it ever unfair in my favor?

The purpose of writing is to inflate weak ideas, obscure pure reasoning, and inhibit clarity....

The purpose of writing is to inflate weak ideas, obscure pure reasoning, and inhibit clarity....

Know what's weird? Day by day, nothing seems to change. But pretty soon, everything's different.

Know what's weird? Day by day, nothing seems to change. But pretty soon, everything's different.

I thought my life would seem more interesting with a musical score and a laugh...

I thought my life would seem more interesting with a musical score and a laugh...

Heck, what's a little extortion among friends?

Heck, what's a little extortion among friends?

Getting an inch of snow is like winning 10 cents in the lottery.

Getting an inch of snow is like winning 10 cents in the lottery.

I think we dream so we don't have to be apart so long. If we're...

I think we dream so we don't have to be apart so long. If we're...

We all have different desires and needs, but if we don't discover what we want...

We all have different desires and needs, but if we don't discover what we want...

Reality continues to ruin my life.

Reality continues to ruin my life.

Letting your mind play is the best way to solve problems.

Letting your mind play is the best way to solve problems.

Why should I have to work for everything?! It's like saying I don't deserve it!

Why should I have to work for everything?! It's like saying I don't deserve it!

There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want.

There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want.

By golly, life's too darn short to waste time trying to please every meddlesome moron...

By golly, life's too darn short to waste time trying to please every meddlesome moron...

That's the whole problem with science. You've got a bunch of empiricists trying to describe...

That's the whole problem with science. You've got a bunch of empiricists trying to describe...

It's not denial. I'm just selective about the reality I accept.

It's not denial. I'm just selective about the reality I accept.

Mothers are the necessity of invention.

Mothers are the necessity of invention.