Why isn't my life like a situation comedy? Why don't I have a bunch of friends with nothing better to do but drop by and instigate wacky adventures? Why aren't my conversations peppered with spontaneous witticisms? Why don't my friends…

Quote by Bill Watterson

Topics: Comedy Quotes, Life Quotes

Hobbes: Do you think there's a God? Calvin: Well, SOMEBODY'S out to get me.

Hobbes: Do you think there's a God? Calvin: Well, SOMEBODY'S out to get me.

I find my life is a lot easier the lower I keep everyone's expectations.

I find my life is a lot easier the lower I keep everyone's expectations.

The problem with people is that they're only human.

The problem with people is that they're only human.

We don't devote enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks.

We don't devote enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks.

I'm yet another resource-consuming kid in an overpopulated planet, raised to an alarming extent by...

I'm yet another resource-consuming kid in an overpopulated planet, raised to an alarming extent by...

When birds burp, it must taste like bugs.

When birds burp, it must taste like bugs.

Things are never quite as scary when you've got a best friend.

Things are never quite as scary when you've got a best friend.

The more you think about things, the weirder they seem. Take this milk. Why do...

The more you think about things, the weirder they seem. Take this milk. Why do...

Mothers are the necessity of invention.

Mothers are the necessity of invention.

The problem with the future is that it keeps turning into the present.

The problem with the future is that it keeps turning into the present.

I'm not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.

I'm not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.

I like these cold, gray winter days. Days like these let you savor a bad...

I like these cold, gray winter days. Days like these let you savor a bad...

Weekends don't count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless.

Weekends don't count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless.

Letting your mind play is the best way to solve problems.

Letting your mind play is the best way to solve problems.

Talking with you is sort of the conversational equivalent of an out of body experience.

Talking with you is sort of the conversational equivalent of an out of body experience.

Getting an inch of snow is like winning 10 cents in the lottery.

Getting an inch of snow is like winning 10 cents in the lottery.

If people sat outside and looked at the stars each night, I'll bet they'd live...

If people sat outside and looked at the stars each night, I'll bet they'd live...

Shutting off the thought process is not rejuvenating; the mind is like a car battery...

Shutting off the thought process is not rejuvenating; the mind is like a car battery...

We all have different desires and needs, but if we don't discover what we want...

We all have different desires and needs, but if we don't discover what we want...

Genius is never understood in its own time.

Genius is never understood in its own time.