Reality continues to ruin my life.
Quote by Bill Watterson
Weekends don't count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless.
Sometimes when I'm talking, my words can't keep up with my thoughts. I wonder why...
I think we dream so we don't have to be apart so long. If we're...
I'm yet another resource-consuming kid in an overpopulated planet, raised to an alarming extent by...
Mothers are the necessity of invention.
Getting an inch of snow is like winning 10 cents in the lottery.
It's not denial. I'm just selective about the reality I accept.
If you can't control your peanut butter, you can't expect to control your life.
I'm not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.
If life is just a stage, then we are all running around ad-libbing, with absolutely...
The problem with people is that they're only human.
Why should I have to work for everything?! It's like saying I don't deserve it!
Hobbes: Do you think there's a God? Calvin: Well, SOMEBODY'S out to get me.
Heck, what's a little extortion among friends?
The problem with the future is that it keeps turning into the present.
I thought my life would seem more interesting with a musical score and a laugh...
Happiness is being famous for your financial ability to indulge in every kind of excess.
That's the whole problem with science. You've got a bunch of empiricists trying to describe...
I won't eat any cereal that doesn't turn the milk purple.
A real job is a job you hate.