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We're more effective than birth control pills.

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We're more effective than birth control pills.

You got one guy going boom, one guy going whack, and one guy not getting...

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You got one guy going boom, one guy going whack, and one guy not getting...

A group of politicians deciding to dump a President because his morals are bad is...

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A group of politicians deciding to dump a President because his morals are bad is...

People who say you're just as old as you feel are all wrong, fortunately.

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People who say you're just as old as you feel are all wrong, fortunately.

In all comedy there is something regressive that takes us back to the world of...

In all comedy there is something regressive that takes us back to the world of...

Comedy is the art of making people laugh without making them puke

Comedy is the art of making people laugh without making them puke

Ah, yes, divorce ... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals...

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Ah, yes, divorce ... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals...

See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only...

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See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only...

Men wearing pants so tight that you can tell what religion they are.

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Men wearing pants so tight that you can tell what religion they are.

Ah, yes, divorce ... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals...

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Ah, yes, divorce ... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals...

People are constantly saying, 'How's it feel to have such an impact?' I just want...

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People are constantly saying, 'How's it feel to have such an impact?' I just want...

People are constantly saying, 'How's it feel to have such an impact?' I just want...

People are constantly saying, 'How's it feel to have such an impact?' I just want...

To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering, one must not love. But then, one...

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To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering, one must not love. But then, one...

Comedy just pokes at problems, rarely confronts them squarely. Drama is like a plate of...

Comedy just pokes at problems, rarely confronts them squarely. Drama is like a plate of...

To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering, one must not love. But then, one...

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To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering, one must not love. But then, one...

I always approach comedy roles pretending they aren't funny.

I always approach comedy roles pretending they aren't funny.

I am so busy doing nothing... that the idea of doing anything - which as...

I am so busy doing nothing... that the idea of doing anything - which as...

My ex-girlfriend had a really weird fetish. She used to like to dress up as...

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My ex-girlfriend had a really weird fetish. She used to like to dress up as...