In Hollywood the woods are full of people that learned to write but evidently can't read. If they could read their stuff, they'd stop writing.
Quote by Will Rogers
Politics ain't worrying this country one-tenth as much as where to find a parking space
The trouble with practical jokes is that very often they get elected.
If I studied all my life, I couldn't think up half the number of funny...
And the thing about my jokes is, they don't hurt anybody. You can take 'em...
Get someone else to blow your horn and the sound will carry twice as far.
Do the best you can, and don't take life too serious.
It isn't what we don't know that gives us trouble, it's what we know that...
When should a college athlete turn pro? Not until he has earned all he can...
The schools ain't what they used to be and never was.
The only way you can beat the lawyers is to die with nothing.
You can't legislate intelligence and common sense into people
Even though you are on the right track - you will get run over if...
If the other fellow sells cheaper than you, it is called dumping. 'Course, if you...
I'm not a real movie star. I've still got the same wife I started out...
A difference of opinion is what makes horse racing and missionaries.
An ignorant person is one who doesn't know what you have just found out.
You've got to go out on a limb sometimes because that's where the fruit is.
Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money they don't have for something...
Look to your health; and if you have it, praise God, and value it next...
Money will not make you happy, and happy will not make you money.