I never lack material for my humor column when Congress is in session.

Quote by Will Rogers

Topics: Humor Quotes

I tell you, all politics is apple sauce.

I tell you, all politics is apple sauce.

A difference of opinion is what makes horse racing and missionaries.

A difference of opinion is what makes horse racing and missionaries.

I guess there is nothing that will get your mind off everything like golf. I...

I guess there is nothing that will get your mind off everything like golf. I...

People that pay for things never complain. It's the guy you give something to that...

People that pay for things never complain. It's the guy you give something to that...

Lord, let me live until I die.

Lord, let me live until I die.

The schools ain't what they used to be and never was.

The schools ain't what they used to be and never was.

The taxpayers are sending congressmen on expensive trips abroad. It might be worth it except...

The taxpayers are sending congressmen on expensive trips abroad. It might be worth it except...

Money, horse racing and women, three things the boys just can't figure out.

Money, horse racing and women, three things the boys just can't figure out.

The 1928 Republican Convention opened with a prayer. If the Lord can see His way...

The 1928 Republican Convention opened with a prayer. If the Lord can see His way...

In Hollywood you can see things at night that are fast enough to be in...

In Hollywood you can see things at night that are fast enough to be in...

Being a hero is about the shortest-lived profession on earth.

Being a hero is about the shortest-lived profession on earth.

The fellow that can only see a week ahead is always the popular fellow, for...

The fellow that can only see a week ahead is always the popular fellow, for...

It isn't what we don't know that gives us trouble, it's what we know that...

It isn't what we don't know that gives us trouble, it's what we know that...

Live that you wouldn't be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip.

Live that you wouldn't be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip.

We can't all be heroes, because somebody has to sit on the curb and clap...

We can't all be heroes, because somebody has to sit on the curb and clap...

The minute you read something that you can't understand, you can almost be sure that...

The minute you read something that you can't understand, you can almost be sure that...

The time to save is now. When a dog gets a bone, he doesn't go...

The time to save is now. When a dog gets a bone, he doesn't go...

If I studied all my life, I couldn't think up half the number of funny...

If I studied all my life, I couldn't think up half the number of funny...

It is no secret that organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars...

It is no secret that organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars...

Make crime pay. Become a Lawyer.

Make crime pay. Become a Lawyer.