The only way you can beat the lawyers is to die with nothing.

Quote by Will Rogers

Topics: Will Rogers Quotes

Being a hero is about the shortest-lived profession on earth.

Being a hero is about the shortest-lived profession on earth.

Strangers are just friends I haven't met yet.

Strangers are just friends I haven't met yet.

So let's be honest with ourselves and not take ourselves too serious, and never condemn...

So let's be honest with ourselves and not take ourselves too serious, and never condemn...

And the thing about my jokes is, they don't hurt anybody. You can take 'em...

And the thing about my jokes is, they don't hurt anybody. You can take 'em...

All I know is just what I read in the papers, and that's an alibi...

All I know is just what I read in the papers, and that's an alibi...

Politics ain't worrying this country one-tenth as much as where to find a parking space

Politics ain't worrying this country one-tenth as much as where to find a parking space

So live that you would not mind selling your pet parrot to the town gossip

So live that you would not mind selling your pet parrot to the town gossip

I read about eight newspapers in a day. When I'm in a town with only...

I read about eight newspapers in a day. When I'm in a town with only...

Money, horse racing and women, three things the boys just can't figure out.

Money, horse racing and women, three things the boys just can't figure out.

Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit...

Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit...

Ohio claims they are due a president as they haven't had one since Taft. Look...

Ohio claims they are due a president as they haven't had one since Taft. Look...

When ignorance gets started it knows no bounds.

When ignorance gets started it knows no bounds.

As bad as we sometimes think our government is run, it is the best run...

As bad as we sometimes think our government is run, it is the best run...

Why don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works...

Why don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works...

So live that you wouldn't be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town...

So live that you wouldn't be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town...

Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke.

Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke.

I am not a member of any organized political party. I am a Democrat.

I am not a member of any organized political party. I am a Democrat.

Don't let yesterday use up too much of today.

Don't let yesterday use up too much of today.

On account of being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only...

On account of being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only...

One Ad is worth more to a paper than forty Editorials.

One Ad is worth more to a paper than forty Editorials.