My own mother died when I was 10 years old. My folks have told me that what little humor I have comes from her. I can't remember her humor, but I can remember her love and understanding of me. Of…

Quote by Will Rogers

Topics: Humor Quotes

The schools ain't what they used to be and never was.

The schools ain't what they used to be and never was.

It's not what you pay a man, but what he costs you that counts.

It's not what you pay a man, but what he costs you that counts.

Even if you are on the right track, you will get run over if you...

Even if you are on the right track, you will get run over if you...

Don't gamble; take all your savings and buy some good stock and hold it till...

Don't gamble; take all your savings and buy some good stock and hold it till...

The trouble with practical jokes is that very often they get elected.

The trouble with practical jokes is that very often they get elected.

Diplomats are just as essential to starting a war as soldiers are for finishing it......

Diplomats are just as essential to starting a war as soldiers are for finishing it......

There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for...

There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for...

Don't let yesterday use up too much of today.

Don't let yesterday use up too much of today.

I have always noticed that people will never laugh at anything that is not based...

I have always noticed that people will never laugh at anything that is not based...

When the Oakies left Oklahoma and moved to California, it raised the I.Q. of both...

When the Oakies left Oklahoma and moved to California, it raised the I.Q. of both...

Diplomacy is the art of saying Nice doggie until you can find a rock.

Diplomacy is the art of saying Nice doggie until you can find a rock.

The best way out of a difficulty is through it.

The best way out of a difficulty is through it.

A man only learns in two ways, one by reading, and the other by association...

A man only learns in two ways, one by reading, and the other by association...

Democrats never agree on anything, that's why they're Democrats. If they agreed with each other,...

Democrats never agree on anything, that's why they're Democrats. If they agreed with each other,...

The only time people dislike gossip is when you gossip about them.

The only time people dislike gossip is when you gossip about them.

Always drink upstream from the herd.

Always drink upstream from the herd.

Let advertisers spend the same amount of money improving their product that they do on...

Let advertisers spend the same amount of money improving their product that they do on...

A difference of opinion is what makes horse racing and missionaries.

A difference of opinion is what makes horse racing and missionaries.

Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot...

Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot...

One-third of the people in the United States promote, while the other two-thirds provide.

One-third of the people in the United States promote, while the other two-thirds provide.