My own mother died when I was 10 years old. My folks have told me that what little humor I have comes from her. I can't remember her humor, but I can remember her love and understanding of me. Of…

Quote by Will Rogers

Topics: Humor Quotes

I read about eight newspapers in a day. When I'm in a town with only...

I read about eight newspapers in a day. When I'm in a town with only...

It's not what you pay a man, but what he costs you that counts.

It's not what you pay a man, but what he costs you that counts.

The Democrats are going to change the name of the Hoover Dam. That is the...

The Democrats are going to change the name of the Hoover Dam. That is the...

Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.

Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.

You can't legislate intelligence and common sense into people

You can't legislate intelligence and common sense into people

We can't all be heroes, because somebody has to sit on the curb and clap...

We can't all be heroes, because somebody has to sit on the curb and clap...

There is nothing so stupid as the educated man if you get him off the...

There is nothing so stupid as the educated man if you get him off the...

When ignorance gets started it knows no bounds

When ignorance gets started it knows no bounds

I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat!

I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat!

If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?

If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?

A conservative is a man who has plenty of money and don't see any reason...

A conservative is a man who has plenty of money and don't see any reason...

You can't legislate intelligence and common sense into people.

You can't legislate intelligence and common sense into people.

Last year we said, 'Things can't go on like this', and they didn't, they got...

Last year we said, 'Things can't go on like this', and they didn't, they got...

If we got one-tenth of what was promised to us in these acceptance speeches there...

If we got one-tenth of what was promised to us in these acceptance speeches there...

As bad as we sometimes think our government is run, it is the best run...

As bad as we sometimes think our government is run, it is the best run...

A man only learns in two ways, one by reading, and the other by association...

A man only learns in two ways, one by reading, and the other by association...

Never miss a chance to shut up

Never miss a chance to shut up

Never let yesterday use up too much of today.

Never let yesterday use up too much of today.

We will never have true civilization until we have learned to recognize the rights of...

We will never have true civilization until we have learned to recognize the rights of...

Alexander Hamilton started the U.S. Treasury with nothing, and that was the closest our country...

Alexander Hamilton started the U.S. Treasury with nothing, and that was the closest our country...