Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out.

Quote by Phyllis Diller

Topics: Phyllis Diller Quotes

You know you're old if your walker has an airbag.

You know you're old if your walker has an airbag.

Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing...

Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing...

My recipe for dealing with anger and frustration: set the kitchen timer for twenty minutes,...

My recipe for dealing with anger and frustration: set the kitchen timer for twenty minutes,...

Health - what my friends are always drinking to before they fall down.

Health - what my friends are always drinking to before they fall down.

There's so little money in my bank account, my scenic checks show a ghetto.

There's so little money in my bank account, my scenic checks show a ghetto.

A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once

A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once

A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once

A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once

Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing...

Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing...

He has so many muscles he has to make an appointment to move his fingers.

He has so many muscles he has to make an appointment to move his fingers.

My photographs don't do me justice - they just look like me.

My photographs don't do me justice - they just look like me.

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want...

I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want...

It's a good thing that beauty is only skin deep, or I'd be rotten to...

It's a good thing that beauty is only skin deep, or I'd be rotten to...

A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.

A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.

The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the...

The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the...

The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't...

The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't...

I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want...

I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want...

Tranquilizers work only if you follow the advice on the bottle--keep away from children.

Tranquilizers work only if you follow the advice on the bottle--keep away from children.

Don't give a woman advice: one should never give a woman anything she can't wear...

Don't give a woman advice: one should never give a woman anything she can't wear...

We all admire the wisdom of people who come to us for advice.

We all admire the wisdom of people who come to us for advice.