Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out.

Quote by Phyllis Diller

Topics: Phyllis Diller Quotes

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and...

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and...

A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once

A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once

Tranquilizers work only if you follow the advice on the bottle--keep away from children.

Tranquilizers work only if you follow the advice on the bottle--keep away from children.

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the walk...

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the walk...

There's so little money in my bank account, my scenic checks show a ghetto.

There's so little money in my bank account, my scenic checks show a ghetto.

Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your...

Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your...

He has so many muscles he has to make an appointment to move his fingers.

He has so many muscles he has to make an appointment to move his fingers.

The real reason your pro tells you to keep your head down is so you...

The real reason your pro tells you to keep your head down is so you...

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

Burt Reynolds once asked me out. I was in his room.

Burt Reynolds once asked me out. I was in his room.

I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want...

I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want...

Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing...

Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing...

I buried a lot of my ironing in the back yard.

I buried a lot of my ironing in the back yard.

What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next...

What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next...

A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once

A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once

My photographs don't do me justice - they just look like me.

My photographs don't do me justice - they just look like me.

A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.

A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.

Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age as your beauty fades,...

Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age as your beauty fades,...

I will never be an old man. To me, old age is always 15 years...

I will never be an old man. To me, old age is always 15 years...

Simplicity is a pleasant thing in children, or at any age, but it is not...

Simplicity is a pleasant thing in children, or at any age, but it is not...

When I was a kid my favorite relative was Uncle Caveman. After school we'd all...

When I was a kid my favorite relative was Uncle Caveman. After school we'd all...