Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out.

Quote by Phyllis Diller

Topics: Phyllis Diller Quotes

Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your...

Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your...

His finest hour lasted a minute and a half.

His finest hour lasted a minute and a half.

A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once

A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once

The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't...

The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't...

The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the...

The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the...

A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once.

A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once.

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and...

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and...

My mother-in-law had a pain beneath her left breast. Turned out to be a trick...

My mother-in-law had a pain beneath her left breast. Turned out to be a trick...

If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like.

If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like.

You know you're old if your walker has an airbag.

You know you're old if your walker has an airbag.

I buried a lot of my ironing in the back yard.

I buried a lot of my ironing in the back yard.

I'm eighteen years behind in my ironing.

I'm eighteen years behind in my ironing.

Any time three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument, a bank has...

Any time three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument, a bank has...

Aim high, and you won't shoot your foot off.

Aim high, and you won't shoot your foot off.

What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next...

What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next...

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the walk...

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the walk...

There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions...

There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions...

Tranquilizers work only if you follow the advice on the bottle - keep away from...

Tranquilizers work only if you follow the advice on the bottle - keep away from...

I asked the waiter, 'Is this milk fresh?' He said, 'Lady, three hours ago it...

I asked the waiter, 'Is this milk fresh?' He said, 'Lady, three hours ago it...

Our dog died from licking our wedding picture.

Our dog died from licking our wedding picture.