I never expected to see the day when girls would get sunburned in the places they now do.
Quote by Will Rogers
Make crime pay. Become a Lawyer.
There comes Coolidge and does nothing and retires a hero, not only because he hadn't...
Instead of giving money to found colleges to promote learning, why don't they pass a...
Even if you are on the right track, you will get run over if you...
If you ever injected truth into politics you have no politics.
If I studied all my life, I couldn't think up half the number of funny...
The trouble with practical jokes is that very often they get elected.
Being a hero is about the shortest-lived profession on earth.
Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit...
The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesn't get worse every time...
I don't know what humor is. Anything that's funny -- tragedy or anything, it don't...
The farmer has to be an optimist or he wouldn't still be a farmer.
So let's be honest with ourselves and not take ourselves too serious, and never condemn...
Our constitution protects aliens, drunks and U.S. Senators.
Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
Everything is changing. People are taking the comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke.
So live that you wouldn't be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town...
Prohibition is better than no liquor at all.
The schools ain't what they used to be and never was.
Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else.