I never expected to see the day when girls would get sunburned in the places they now do.

Quote by Will Rogers

Topics: Funny Quotes

If I studied all my life, I couldn't think up half the number of funny...

If I studied all my life, I couldn't think up half the number of funny...

Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

All I know is just what I read in the papers, and that's an alibi...

All I know is just what I read in the papers, and that's an alibi...

You've got to be (an) optimist to be a Democrat, and you've got to be...

You've got to be (an) optimist to be a Democrat, and you've got to be...

On account of us being a democracy and run by the people, we are the...

On account of us being a democracy and run by the people, we are the...

Being a hero is about the shortest-lived profession on earth.

Being a hero is about the shortest-lived profession on earth.

Lord, the money we do spend on Government and it's not one bit better than...

Lord, the money we do spend on Government and it's not one bit better than...

Things in our country run in spite of government, not by aid of it.

Things in our country run in spite of government, not by aid of it.

A man only learns in two ways, one by reading, and the other by association...

A man only learns in two ways, one by reading, and the other by association...

The income tax has made liars out of more Americans than golf.

The income tax has made liars out of more Americans than golf.

The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has....

The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has....

It's not what you pay a man, but what he costs you that counts.

It's not what you pay a man, but what he costs you that counts.

Democrats never agree on anything, that's why they're Democrats. If they agreed with each other,...

Democrats never agree on anything, that's why they're Democrats. If they agreed with each other,...

Even if you are on the right track, you will get run over if you...

Even if you are on the right track, you will get run over if you...

It's a fine motion picture up to the point where God finishes and the script...

It's a fine motion picture up to the point where God finishes and the script...

The time to save is now. When a dog gets a bone, he doesn't go...

The time to save is now. When a dog gets a bone, he doesn't go...

There's only one thing that can kill the movies, and that's education.

There's only one thing that can kill the movies, and that's education.

Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back...

Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back...

You can't say civilization don't advance... in every war they kill you in a new...

You can't say civilization don't advance... in every war they kill you in a new...

The only time people dislike gossip is when you gossip about them.

The only time people dislike gossip is when you gossip about them.