Dear vending machines, I'm sorry if my dollar isn't straight enough for you. Sincerely, stop being so homophobic.

Topics: Food Quotes, Funny Facebook Status Quotes

If eating left over pizza for breakfast is wrong, I don't wanna be right!

If eating left over pizza for breakfast is wrong, I don't wanna be right!

More die in the United States of too much food than of too little.

More die in the United States of too much food than of too little.

Now, good digestion wait on appetite, and health on both!

Now, good digestion wait on appetite, and health on both!

Marxism has not only failed to promote human freedom, it has failed to produce food

Marxism has not only failed to promote human freedom, it has failed to produce food

When we win, I'm so happy I eat a lot. When we lose, I'm so...

When we win, I'm so happy I eat a lot. When we lose, I'm so...

An overripe banana, yellow outside, squishy in

An overripe banana, yellow outside, squishy in

Wit is the salt of conversation, not the food.

Wit is the salt of conversation, not the food.

As life's pleasures go, food is second only to sex. Except for salami and eggs....

As life's pleasures go, food is second only to sex. Except for salami and eggs....

The food here is terrible, and the portions are too small.

The food here is terrible, and the portions are too small.

You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat...

You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat...

I thought I would someday outgrow Ramen noodles. Man, was I wrong.

I thought I would someday outgrow Ramen noodles. Man, was I wrong.

They say that marijuana is an entrance to other drugs...I say it's more like an...

They say that marijuana is an entrance to other drugs...I say it's more like an...

Eat - well is drink - well's brother

Eat - well is drink - well's brother

If people take the trouble to cook, you should take the trouble to eat.

If people take the trouble to cook, you should take the trouble to eat.

Here's to alcohol: the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.

Here's to alcohol: the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.

Is the chemical aftertaste the reason why people eat hot dogs, or is it some...

Is the chemical aftertaste the reason why people eat hot dogs, or is it some...

Cheating on someone who loves you is like sneaking a Happy Meal into Olive Garden....

Cheating on someone who loves you is like sneaking a Happy Meal into Olive Garden....

Dear brain, please start being able to tell the difference between hungry and bored. Sincerely,...

Dear brain, please start being able to tell the difference between hungry and bored. Sincerely,...

Facebook...... Half Social Network..... Half Shoe Store! Didnt Know I Was At The Mall.

Facebook...... Half Social Network..... Half Shoe Store! Didnt Know I Was At The Mall.

I have an eating disorder. I be eatin DIS order of fries, and DIS order...

I have an eating disorder. I be eatin DIS order of fries, and DIS order...