I wish my microwave had a 'stealth mode' so the people I'm living with don't know I'm having a midnight snack.

Topics: Food Quotes, Funny Quotes

Eating greens is a special treat, it makes long ears and great big feet. But...

Eating greens is a special treat, it makes long ears and great big feet. But...

Ever since Eve started it all by offering Adam the apple, woman's punishment has been...

Ever since Eve started it all by offering Adam the apple, woman's punishment has been...

One of the glories of New York is its ethnic food, and only McDonald's and...

One of the glories of New York is its ethnic food, and only McDonald's and...

I was cooking breakfast this morning for my kids, and I thought, He's (Ronald Reagan)...

I was cooking breakfast this morning for my kids, and I thought, He's (Ronald Reagan)...

Food should be enjoyed rather than endured.

Food should be enjoyed rather than endured.

More die in the United States of too much food than of too little.

More die in the United States of too much food than of too little.

In terms of fast food and deep understanding of the culture of fast food, I'm...

In terms of fast food and deep understanding of the culture of fast food, I'm...

I cook with wine; sometimes I even add it to the food!

I cook with wine; sometimes I even add it to the food!

I have an eating disorder. I be eatin DIS order of fries, and DIS order...

I have an eating disorder. I be eatin DIS order of fries, and DIS order...

Strength is the ability to break a chocolate bar into four pieces with your bare...

Strength is the ability to break a chocolate bar into four pieces with your bare...

I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick. Not wounded. Dead.

I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick. Not wounded. Dead.

Cheating on someone who loves you is like sneaking a Happy Meal into Olive Garden....

Cheating on someone who loves you is like sneaking a Happy Meal into Olive Garden....

When men talk about defense, they always claim to be protecting women and children, but...

When men talk about defense, they always claim to be protecting women and children, but...

What is food to one, is to others bitter poison.

What is food to one, is to others bitter poison.

Nutrition facts are useless, just show me how long I have to be at the...

Nutrition facts are useless, just show me how long I have to be at the...

A food is not necessarily essential just because your child hates it.

A food is not necessarily essential just because your child hates it.

I want my food dead. Not sick, not dying, dead.

I want my food dead. Not sick, not dying, dead.

Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant? I'm halfway through my fish burger and...

Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant? I'm halfway through my fish burger and...

When entering into a marriage one ought to ask oneself: do you believe you are...

When entering into a marriage one ought to ask oneself: do you believe you are...

A liberated woman is one who has sex before marriage and a job after.

A liberated woman is one who has sex before marriage and a job after.