That uncomfortable moment when you're in the car and you look at the people in the car next to you. Then you realize they're already looking at you...

Topics: Funny Facebook Status Quotes

This is one of those mornings where I'll be picking the marshmallows out of the...

This is one of those mornings where I'll be picking the marshmallows out of the...

If we all end up in prison one day for illegal music downloads, I can...

If we all end up in prison one day for illegal music downloads, I can...

Dear Face Wash Commercials, nobody actually splashes their face with water like that. Sincerely, my...

Dear Face Wash Commercials, nobody actually splashes their face with water like that. Sincerely, my...

Don't do drugs kids. There's a time and place for everything. It's called college.

Don't do drugs kids. There's a time and place for everything. It's called college.

The greatest thing about Facebook, is that you can quote something and totally make up...

The greatest thing about Facebook, is that you can quote something and totally make up...

I probably could stand a chance on American Idol if I could bring my shower...

I probably could stand a chance on American Idol if I could bring my shower...

If you watch Jaws backwards; it's actually a film about a shark that throws up...

If you watch Jaws backwards; it's actually a film about a shark that throws up...

Saying I don't take my meds because they make me feel funny. Is like cannibals...

Saying I don't take my meds because they make me feel funny. Is like cannibals...

I lose all respect for myself when I bite my own tongue. I've been chewing...

I lose all respect for myself when I bite my own tongue. I've been chewing...

Facebook's timeline is my favorite way to watch girls from high school get fat.

Facebook's timeline is my favorite way to watch girls from high school get fat.

Dr: Are you sexually active? Me: Yes I'm a Facebook whore.

Dr: Are you sexually active? Me: Yes I'm a Facebook whore.

I'll go to great lengths to scavenge other devices for batteries, before I will go...

I'll go to great lengths to scavenge other devices for batteries, before I will go...

What's the difference between a hockey team and a girl from Jersey Shore? The hockey...

What's the difference between a hockey team and a girl from Jersey Shore? The hockey...

Does anyone have that light switch in their house that they really don't know what...

Does anyone have that light switch in their house that they really don't know what...

Exit Facebook, close laptop, get into bed, unlock phone, check Facebook ....

Exit Facebook, close laptop, get into bed, unlock phone, check Facebook ....

Today I saw a baby with a bib that said 'This dumbass put my cape...

Today I saw a baby with a bib that said 'This dumbass put my cape...

Laughter is always the best medicine... unless you have diarrhea.

Laughter is always the best medicine... unless you have diarrhea.

I could be in another country but if someone is waiting on me and they...

I could be in another country but if someone is waiting on me and they...