That terrible moment when you are halfway across the room with the food you just microwaved and your hands decide it's too hot.

Topics: Facebook Status Quotes, Food Quotes

I never use the little twist ties to close a bag of bread...I just spin...

I never use the little twist ties to close a bag of bread...I just spin...

I'm in a love/hate relationship with my bed. I love crawling into it at night,...

I'm in a love/hate relationship with my bed. I love crawling into it at night,...

Exercise is not: Jumping to conclusions, running off at the mouth, stretching the truth, bending...

Exercise is not: Jumping to conclusions, running off at the mouth, stretching the truth, bending...

That awkward moment when nobody likes your Facebook status.

That awkward moment when nobody likes your Facebook status.

I'm not afraid of heights, deep water, or love. I'm afraid of falling, drowning, and...

I'm not afraid of heights, deep water, or love. I'm afraid of falling, drowning, and...

Too many good girls single, too many hoes taken.

Too many good girls single, too many hoes taken.

That moment of preparation right before you step on an escalator.

That moment of preparation right before you step on an escalator.

When Facebook asks what's on your mind? Where are you? Who are you with? I...

When Facebook asks what's on your mind? Where are you? Who are you with? I...

Dear radio stations, You do know there are more than 4 songs in the world,...

Dear radio stations, You do know there are more than 4 songs in the world,...

That moment when you are trapped in the corner of your shower because the cold...

That moment when you are trapped in the corner of your shower because the cold...

If your girlfriend gets jealous it's because she's faithful. If another girl has your attention...

If your girlfriend gets jealous it's because she's faithful. If another girl has your attention...

Me: 'I wanna go on a diet.' Food: 'LOL! No...'

Me: 'I wanna go on a diet.' Food: 'LOL! No...'

The less people you chill with, the less problems you deal with.

The less people you chill with, the less problems you deal with.

That awkward moment when you don't want to come out of your room because there...

That awkward moment when you don't want to come out of your room because there...

Don't worry about who I'm with in my space time if you're not working on...

Don't worry about who I'm with in my space time if you're not working on...

When there's a car in the middle of the mall, and you're just like...'How the...

When there's a car in the middle of the mall, and you're just like...'How the...

If a car behind me makes the same turn I do twice in a row,...

If a car behind me makes the same turn I do twice in a row,...

Dear Facebook peeps: Please stop showing photos of animal cruelty and dead pets. If I...

Dear Facebook peeps: Please stop showing photos of animal cruelty and dead pets. If I...

Is she fat? Her favorite food is seconds

Is she fat? Her favorite food is seconds

To the goggling unbeliever Texans say - as people always say about their mangier dishes...

To the goggling unbeliever Texans say - as people always say about their mangier dishes...