I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.

Quote by W C Fields

Topics: Opinions Quotes

I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally.

I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally.

It's morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money.

It's morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money.

Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard on a...

Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard on a...

So long as the presence of death lurks with anyone who goes through the simple...

So long as the presence of death lurks with anyone who goes through the simple...

Drown in a cold vat of whiskey? Death, where is thy sting?

Drown in a cold vat of whiskey? Death, where is thy sting?

I was in love with a beautiful blonde once, dear. She drove me to drink....

I was in love with a beautiful blonde once, dear. She drove me to drink....

The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.

The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.

There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull...

There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull...

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.

When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.

When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.

I have been asked if I ever get the DTs; I don't know; it's hard...

I have been asked if I ever get the DTs; I don't know; it's hard...

Remember, a dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim...

Remember, a dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim...

I'm free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

I'm free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

Sleep -- the most beautiful experience in life -- except drink.

Sleep -- the most beautiful experience in life -- except drink.

Anyone who hates children and animals can't be all bad.

Anyone who hates children and animals can't be all bad.

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in...

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in...

Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.

Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.

Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget...

Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget...

Never cry over spilt milk, because it may have been poisoned.

Never cry over spilt milk, because it may have been poisoned.

I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which...

I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which...