We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.

Quote by Phyllis Diller

Topics: Children Quotes, Teachers And Teaching Quotes

A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once

A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once

There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions...

There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions...

Burt Reynolds once asked me out. I was in his room.

Burt Reynolds once asked me out. I was in his room.

A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.

A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.

It's a good thing that beauty is only skin deep, or I'd be rotten to...

It's a good thing that beauty is only skin deep, or I'd be rotten to...

Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty...

Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty...

There's so little money in my bank account, my scenic checks show a ghetto.

There's so little money in my bank account, my scenic checks show a ghetto.

Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves.

Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves.

Tranquilizers work only if you follow the advice on the bottle - keep away from...

Tranquilizers work only if you follow the advice on the bottle - keep away from...

I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want...

I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want...

Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing...

Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing...

Any time three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument, a bank has...

Any time three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument, a bank has...

Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?

Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?

I'm eighteen years behind in my ironing.

I'm eighteen years behind in my ironing.

I asked the waiter, 'Is this milk fresh?' He said, 'Lady, three hours ago it...

I asked the waiter, 'Is this milk fresh?' He said, 'Lady, three hours ago it...

The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the...

The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the...

My photographs don't do me justice - they just look like me.

My photographs don't do me justice - they just look like me.

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next...

What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next...

I buried a lot of my ironing in the back yard.

I buried a lot of my ironing in the back yard.