Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler.

Quote by W C Fields

Topics: W C Fields Quotes

Anyone who hates children and animals can't be all bad.

Anyone who hates children and animals can't be all bad.

Drown in a cold vat of whiskey? Death, where is thy sting?

Drown in a cold vat of whiskey? Death, where is thy sting?

Hell, I never vote for anybody, I always vote against.

Hell, I never vote for anybody, I always vote against.

I never vote for anyone. I always vote against.

I never vote for anyone. I always vote against.

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.

Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she'll expect you to keep...

Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she'll expect you to keep...

I like children - fried.

I like children - fried.

Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what...

Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what...

If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.

If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.

If there's a will, prosperity can't be far behind.

If there's a will, prosperity can't be far behind.

A diet is a selection of food that makes other people lose weight

A diet is a selection of food that makes other people lose weight

Here lies W. C. Fields. I would rather be living in Philadelphia.

Here lies W. C. Fields. I would rather be living in Philadelphia.

It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.

It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.

I never drink water. I'm afraid it will become habit-forming.

I never drink water. I'm afraid it will become habit-forming.

Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.

Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.

Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.

Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.

Show me a great actor and I'll show you a lousy husband. Show me a...

Show me a great actor and I'll show you a lousy husband. Show me a...

Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard on a...

Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard on a...

On the whole, I'd rather be in Philidelphia.

On the whole, I'd rather be in Philidelphia.

If I had to live my life over, I'd live over a saloon.

If I had to live my life over, I'd live over a saloon.