Hell, I never vote for anybody, I always vote against.

Quote by W C Fields

Topics: W C Fields Quotes

Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she'll expect you to keep...

Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she'll expect you to keep...

When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.

When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.

It was a woman who drove me to drink -- and, you know, I never...

It was a woman who drove me to drink -- and, you know, I never...

The movie people would have nothing to do with me until they heard me speak...

The movie people would have nothing to do with me until they heard me speak...

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in...

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in...

Anyone who hates children and animals can't be all bad.

Anyone who hates children and animals can't be all bad.

I'm free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

I'm free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

Set up another case bartender! The best thing for a case of nerves is a...

Set up another case bartender! The best thing for a case of nerves is a...

The cost of living has gone up another dollar a quart.

The cost of living has gone up another dollar a quart.

The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn...

The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn...

Now don't say you can't swear off drinking; it's easy. I've done it a thousand...

Now don't say you can't swear off drinking; it's easy. I've done it a thousand...

I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.

I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.

Children should neither be seen or heard from - ever again.

Children should neither be seen or heard from - ever again.

Sleep - the most beautiful experience in life - except drink.

Sleep - the most beautiful experience in life - except drink.

Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget...

Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget...

Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there's nothing exactly like...

Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there's nothing exactly like...

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid...

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid...

I never worry about being driven to drink; I just worry about being driven home.

I never worry about being driven to drink; I just worry about being driven home.

Ale, man, ale's the stuff to drink for fellows whom it hurts to think.

Ale, man, ale's the stuff to drink for fellows whom it hurts to think.

And he shall say, Where are their gods, their rock in whom they trusted, Which...

And he shall say, Where are their gods, their rock in whom they trusted, Which...