If I had to live my life over, I'd live over a saloon.

Quote by W C Fields

Topics: W C Fields Quotes

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

If there's a will, prosperity can't be far behind.

If there's a will, prosperity can't be far behind.

Set up another case bartender! The best thing for a case of nerves is a...

Set up another case bartender! The best thing for a case of nerves is a...

The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn...

The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn...

A wonderful drink, wine. . . . Did you ever hear of an Italian grape...

A wonderful drink, wine. . . . Did you ever hear of an Italian grape...

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and...

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and...

Children should neither be seen or heard from - ever again.

Children should neither be seen or heard from - ever again.

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

Abstaining is favorable both to the head and the pocket.

Abstaining is favorable both to the head and the pocket.

Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.

Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.

I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.

I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.

Never give a sucker an even break.

Never give a sucker an even break.

Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she'll expect you to keep...

Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she'll expect you to keep...

The movie people would have nothing to do with me until they heard me speak...

The movie people would have nothing to do with me until they heard me speak...

Never cry over spilt milk, because it may have been poisoned.

Never cry over spilt milk, because it may have been poisoned.

I have been asked if I ever get the DTs; I don't know; it's hard...

I have been asked if I ever get the DTs; I don't know; it's hard...

I never met a kid I liked.

I never met a kid I liked.

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.

Now is the age of anxiety.

Now is the age of anxiety.

Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the...

Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the...