If I had to live my life over, I'd live over a saloon.

Quote by W C Fields

Topics: W C Fields Quotes

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days...

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days...

I like children - fried.

I like children - fried.

I like to keep a bottle of stimulant handy in case I see a snake,...

I like to keep a bottle of stimulant handy in case I see a snake,...

I never drink water. I'm afraid it will become habit-forming.

I never drink water. I'm afraid it will become habit-forming.

Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what...

Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what...

Sleep - the most beautiful experience in life - except drink.

Sleep - the most beautiful experience in life - except drink.

The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to...

The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to...

The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.

The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.

The cost of living has gone up another dollar a quart.

The cost of living has gone up another dollar a quart.

Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a...

Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a...

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

Remember, a dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim...

Remember, a dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim...

A diet is a selection of food that makes other people lose weight

A diet is a selection of food that makes other people lose weight

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and...

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and...

A wonderful drink, wine. . . . Did you ever hear of an Italian grape...

A wonderful drink, wine. . . . Did you ever hear of an Italian grape...

Sleep -- the most beautiful experience in life -- except drink.

Sleep -- the most beautiful experience in life -- except drink.

Never give a sucker an even break.

Never give a sucker an even break.

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.

It is a man's own fault, it is from want of use, if his mind...

It is a man's own fault, it is from want of use, if his mind...

Ducking for apples - change one letter and it's the story of my life.

Ducking for apples - change one letter and it's the story of my life.