I never vote for anyone. I always vote against.

Quote by W C Fields

Topics: W C Fields Quotes

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid...

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid...

It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.

It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in...

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in...

Now don't say you can't swear off drinking; it's easy. I've done it a thousand...

Now don't say you can't swear off drinking; it's easy. I've done it a thousand...

Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what...

Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what...

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in...

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in...

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid...

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid...

Don't worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.

Don't worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.

You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.

You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.

I was in love with a beautiful blonde once, dear. She drove me to drink....

I was in love with a beautiful blonde once, dear. She drove me to drink....

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.

Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.

The cost of living has gone up another dollar a quart.

The cost of living has gone up another dollar a quart.

The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.

The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.

Last week, I went to Philadelphia, but it was closed.

Last week, I went to Philadelphia, but it was closed.

Hell, I never vote for anybody, I always vote against.

Hell, I never vote for anybody, I always vote against.

I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally.

I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally.

If I had to live my life over, I'd live over a saloon.

If I had to live my life over, I'd live over a saloon.

I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which...

I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which...

Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.

Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.