Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.

Quote by W C Fields

Topics: Animals Quotes

Sleep -- the most beautiful experience in life -- except drink.

Sleep -- the most beautiful experience in life -- except drink.

Never cry over spilt milk, because it may have been poisoned.

Never cry over spilt milk, because it may have been poisoned.

Women are like elephants. I like to look at 'em, but I wouldn't want to...

Women are like elephants. I like to look at 'em, but I wouldn't want to...

Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget...

Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget...

I must have a drink of breakfast.

I must have a drink of breakfast.

Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard on a...

Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard on a...

The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn...

The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn...

Last week, I went to Philadelphia, but it was closed.

Last week, I went to Philadelphia, but it was closed.

I'm free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

I'm free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

I never met a kid I liked.

I never met a kid I liked.

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in...

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in...

A diet is a selection of food that makes other people lose weight

A diet is a selection of food that makes other people lose weight

When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.

When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.

During one of my treks through Afghanistan, we lost our corkscrew. We were compelled to...

During one of my treks through Afghanistan, we lost our corkscrew. We were compelled to...

Abstaining is favorable both to the head and the pocket.

Abstaining is favorable both to the head and the pocket.

On the whole, I'd rather be in Philidelphia.

On the whole, I'd rather be in Philidelphia.

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid...

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid...

Don't worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.

Don't worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.

There are only two real ways to get ahead today - sell liquor or drink...

There are only two real ways to get ahead today - sell liquor or drink...

Never give a sucker an even break.

Never give a sucker an even break.