Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.

Quote by W C Fields

Topics: Animals Quotes

There are only two real ways to get ahead today -- sell liquor or drink...

There are only two real ways to get ahead today -- sell liquor or drink...

I never worry about being driven to drink; I just worry about being driven home.

I never worry about being driven to drink; I just worry about being driven home.

A wonderful drink, wine. . . . Did you ever hear of an Italian grape...

A wonderful drink, wine. . . . Did you ever hear of an Italian grape...

I like children - fried.

I like children - fried.

Show me a great actor and I'll show you a lousy husband. Show me a...

Show me a great actor and I'll show you a lousy husband. Show me a...

Never give a sucker an even break.

Never give a sucker an even break.

I must have a drink of breakfast.

I must have a drink of breakfast.

I only drink to steady my nerves. Sometimes I'm so steady I don't move for...

I only drink to steady my nerves. Sometimes I'm so steady I don't move for...

It's morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money.

It's morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money.

A diet is a selection of food that makes other people lose weight

A diet is a selection of food that makes other people lose weight

Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she'll expect you to keep...

Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she'll expect you to keep...

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days...

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days...

Anyone who hates children and animals can't be all bad.

Anyone who hates children and animals can't be all bad.

If I had to live my life over, I'd live over a saloon.

If I had to live my life over, I'd live over a saloon.

I was in love with a beautiful blonde once, dear. She drove me to drink....

I was in love with a beautiful blonde once, dear. She drove me to drink....

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

Here lies W. C. Fields. I would rather be living in Philadelphia.

Here lies W. C. Fields. I would rather be living in Philadelphia.

Set up another case bartender! The best thing for a case of nerves is a...

Set up another case bartender! The best thing for a case of nerves is a...

I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which...

I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which...