Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.
Quote by W C Fields
There are only two real ways to get ahead today - sell liquor or drink...
On the whole, I'd rather be in Philidelphia.
I never drink water; that is the stuff that rusts pipes.
Anyone who hates children and animals can't be all bad.
Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard on a...
Last week, I went to Philadelphia, but it was closed.
It was a woman who drove me to drink, and I never had the courtesy...
If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in...
So long as the presence of death lurks with anyone who goes through the simple...
You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.
Never cry over spilt milk, because it may have been poisoned.
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
I'm free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and...
I never drink water. I'm afraid it will become habit-forming.
I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which...
Hell, I never vote for anybody, I always vote against.
I only drink to steady my nerves. Sometimes I'm so steady I don't move for...
No animal ever invented anything as bad as drunkenness - or as good as drink.
And they gave them drink in vessels of gold, (the vessels being diverse one from...