Eighty percent of success is showing up.

Quote by Woody Allen

Topics: Fitness Quotes, Motivational Quotes

She wore a short skirt and a tight sweater and her figure described a set...

She wore a short skirt and a tight sweater and her figure described a set...

Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.

Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.

It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept...

It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept...

To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.

To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.

Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered?

Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered?

And my parents finally realise that I'm kidnapped and they snap into action immediately: they...

And my parents finally realise that I'm kidnapped and they snap into action immediately: they...

Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.

Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.

I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick. Not wounded. Dead.

I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick. Not wounded. Dead.

Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.

Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.

In California, they don't throw their garbage away - they make it into TV shows.

In California, they don't throw their garbage away - they make it into TV shows.

What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream?

What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream?

If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything...

If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything...

Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go it's one of...

Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go it's one of...

I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers.

I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers.

As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard...

As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard...

I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.

I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.

Tradition is the illusion of permanance.

Tradition is the illusion of permanance.

I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had...

I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had...

Who bothers to cook TV dinners? I suck them frozen.

Who bothers to cook TV dinners? I suck them frozen.

On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done...

On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done...