Quotes by Spike Milligan

My Father had a profound influence on me, he was a lunatic.

#Funny, #Parents

I shook hands with a friendly Arab. I still have my right arm to prove...

#Funny, #Jokes

The Grand Old Duke of York He had ten thousand men. His case comes up...

#Funny, #Jokes

How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.

#Funny, #Jokes

And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board...

#Funny, #God

Money couldn't buy friends, but you got a better class of enemy.

#Friends

Money couldn't buy you friends, but you get a better class of enemy.

#Funny, #Money

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, get it out with Optrex.

#Beauty

It was a perfect marriage. She didn't want to and he couldn't.

#Marriage

Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?

#Spike Milligan

All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

#Spike Milligan

A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.

#Spike Milligan