I shook hands with a friendly Arab. I still have my right arm to prove it.

Quote by Spike Milligan

Topics: Funny Quotes, Jokes Quotes

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

I'm not afraid of dying I just don't want to be there when it happens.

I'm not afraid of dying I just don't want to be there when it happens.

I can speak Esperanto like a native.

I can speak Esperanto like a native.

Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of...

Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of...

Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of...

Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of...

How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.

How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy

Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.

Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.

I'm a hero with coward's legs.

I'm a hero with coward's legs.

And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board...

And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board...

The Grand Old Duke of York He had ten thousand men. His case comes up...

The Grand Old Duke of York He had ten thousand men. His case comes up...

All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe's singing until somebody told me that it...

I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe's singing until somebody told me that it...

Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of...

Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of...

Money can't buy friends but it can get you a better class of enemy

Money can't buy friends but it can get you a better class of enemy

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, get it out with Optrex.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, get it out with Optrex.

I thought I'd begin by reading a sonnet by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why...

I thought I'd begin by reading a sonnet by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why...

This silent call you make, A silence so loud I fear the world knows it's...

This silent call you make, A silence so loud I fear the world knows it's...

Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent, and discerning if he holds...

Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent, and discerning if he holds...

You hesitate to stab me with a word, and know not - silence is the...

You hesitate to stab me with a word, and know not - silence is the...