I shook hands with a friendly Arab. I still have my right arm to prove it.

Quote by Spike Milligan

Topics: Funny Quotes, Jokes Quotes

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.

Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.

I can speak Esperanto like a native.

I can speak Esperanto like a native.

Money couldn't buy friends, but you got a better class of enemy.

Money couldn't buy friends, but you got a better class of enemy.

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy

Money can't buy friends but it can get you a better class of enemy.

Money can't buy friends but it can get you a better class of enemy.

How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.

How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.

For ten years Caesar ruled with an iron hand. Then with a wooden foot, and...

For ten years Caesar ruled with an iron hand. Then with a wooden foot, and...

Money couldn't buy you friends, but you get a better class of enemy.

Money couldn't buy you friends, but you get a better class of enemy.

It was a perfect marriage. She didn't want to and he couldn't.

It was a perfect marriage. She didn't want to and he couldn't.

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy

I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe's singing until somebody told me that it...

I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe's singing until somebody told me that it...

This silent call you make, A silence so loud I fear the world knows it's...

This silent call you make, A silence so loud I fear the world knows it's...

I thought I'd begin by reading a sonnet by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why...

I thought I'd begin by reading a sonnet by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why...

I thought I'd begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why...

I thought I'd begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why...

Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?

Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?

It's all in the mind, you know.

It's all in the mind, you know.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, get it out with Optrex.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, get it out with Optrex.

The best part of beauty is that which no picture can express.

The best part of beauty is that which no picture can express.

Beauty is ever to the lonely mind a shadow fleeting; she is never plain. She...

Beauty is ever to the lonely mind a shadow fleeting; she is never plain. She...