The Grand Old Duke of York He had ten thousand men. His case comes up next week.

Quote by Spike Milligan

Topics: Funny Quotes, Jokes Quotes

Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?

Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy

I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge.

I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge.

A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.

A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.

Money couldn't buy you friends, but you get a better class of enemy.

Money couldn't buy you friends, but you get a better class of enemy.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, get it out with Optrex.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, get it out with Optrex.

This silent call you make, A silence so loud I fear the world knows it's...

This silent call you make, A silence so loud I fear the world knows it's...

I can speak Esperanto like a native.

I can speak Esperanto like a native.

And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board...

And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board...

Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of...

Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of...

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy

Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.

Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.

It's all in the mind, you know.

It's all in the mind, you know.

Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of...

Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of...

I'm a hero with coward's legs.

I'm a hero with coward's legs.

All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

Money couldn't buy friends, but you got a better class of enemy.

Money couldn't buy friends, but you got a better class of enemy.

I am friends with Demi. Don't believe anything you read.

I am friends with Demi. Don't believe anything you read.

Friends are thieves of time.

Friends are thieves of time.

Do good to your friends to keep them, to your enemies to win them.

Do good to your friends to keep them, to your enemies to win them.