My Father had a profound influence on me, he was a lunatic.

Quote by Spike Milligan

Topics: Funny Quotes, Parents Quotes

I shook hands with a friendly Arab. I still have my right arm to prove...

I shook hands with a friendly Arab. I still have my right arm to prove...

It was a perfect marriage. She didn't want to and he couldn't.

It was a perfect marriage. She didn't want to and he couldn't.

Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of...

Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of...

I thought I'd begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why...

I thought I'd begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why...

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, get it out with Optrex.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, get it out with Optrex.

This silent call you make, A silence so loud I fear the world knows it's...

This silent call you make, A silence so loud I fear the world knows it's...

Money couldn't buy you friends, but you get a better class of enemy.

Money couldn't buy you friends, but you get a better class of enemy.

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board...

And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board...

Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.

Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.

Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?

Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?

I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge.

I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge.

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy

I thought I'd begin by reading a sonnet by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why...

I thought I'd begin by reading a sonnet by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why...

Money can't buy friends but it can get you a better class of enemy

Money can't buy friends but it can get you a better class of enemy

All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

For ten years Caesar ruled with an iron hand. Then with a wooden foot, and...

For ten years Caesar ruled with an iron hand. Then with a wooden foot, and...

It's all in the mind, you know.

It's all in the mind, you know.

I can speak Esperanto like a native.

I can speak Esperanto like a native.