How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.

Quote by Spike Milligan

Topics: Funny Quotes, Jokes Quotes

I'm not afraid of dying I just don't want to be there when it happens.

I'm not afraid of dying I just don't want to be there when it happens.

All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

I'm a hero with coward's legs.

I'm a hero with coward's legs.

Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of...

Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of...

Money can't buy friends but it can get you a better class of enemy

Money can't buy friends but it can get you a better class of enemy

I can speak Esperanto like a native.

I can speak Esperanto like a native.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, get it out with Optrex.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, get it out with Optrex.

My Father had a profound influence on me, he was a lunatic.

My Father had a profound influence on me, he was a lunatic.

It was a perfect marriage. She didn't want to and he couldn't.

It was a perfect marriage. She didn't want to and he couldn't.

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy

The Grand Old Duke of York He had ten thousand men. His case comes up...

The Grand Old Duke of York He had ten thousand men. His case comes up...

Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of...

Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of...

Money can't buy friends but it can get you a better class of enemy.

Money can't buy friends but it can get you a better class of enemy.

Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?

Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?

A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.

A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.

I thought I'd begin by reading a sonnet by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why...

I thought I'd begin by reading a sonnet by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why...

Money couldn't buy you friends, but you get a better class of enemy.

Money couldn't buy you friends, but you get a better class of enemy.

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

Money without brains is always dangerous

Money without brains is always dangerous

The man who does not work for the love of work but only for money...

The man who does not work for the love of work but only for money...