How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.

Quote by Spike Milligan

Topics: Funny Quotes, Jokes Quotes

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy

I shook hands with a friendly Arab. I still have my right arm to prove...

I shook hands with a friendly Arab. I still have my right arm to prove...

A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.

A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy

All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy

I thought I'd begin by reading a sonnet by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why...

I thought I'd begin by reading a sonnet by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why...

I can speak Esperanto like a native.

I can speak Esperanto like a native.

Money couldn't buy friends, but you got a better class of enemy.

Money couldn't buy friends, but you got a better class of enemy.

Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of...

Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of...

Money can't buy friends but it can get you a better class of enemy

Money can't buy friends but it can get you a better class of enemy

Money can't buy friends but it can get you a better class of enemy

Money can't buy friends but it can get you a better class of enemy

Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.

Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.

Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?

Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?

Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of...

Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of...

My Father had a profound influence on me, he was a lunatic.

My Father had a profound influence on me, he was a lunatic.

I'm not afraid of dying I just don't want to be there when it happens.

I'm not afraid of dying I just don't want to be there when it happens.

I thought I'd begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why...

I thought I'd begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why...

It's all in the mind, you know.

It's all in the mind, you know.