And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said he would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.

Quote by Spike Milligan

Topics: Funny Quotes, God Quotes

I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe's singing until somebody told me that it...

I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe's singing until somebody told me that it...

How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.

How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.

It was a perfect marriage. She didn't want to and he couldn't.

It was a perfect marriage. She didn't want to and he couldn't.

Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of...

Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of...

Money couldn't buy friends, but you got a better class of enemy.

Money couldn't buy friends, but you got a better class of enemy.

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy

I'm a hero with coward's legs.

I'm a hero with coward's legs.

I can speak Esperanto like a native.

I can speak Esperanto like a native.

Money can't buy friends but it can get you a better class of enemy

Money can't buy friends but it can get you a better class of enemy

I thought I'd begin by reading a sonnet by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why...

I thought I'd begin by reading a sonnet by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why...

Money couldn't buy you friends, but you get a better class of enemy.

Money couldn't buy you friends, but you get a better class of enemy.

Money can't buy friends but it can get you a better class of enemy

Money can't buy friends but it can get you a better class of enemy

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy

Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?

Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?

For ten years Caesar ruled with an iron hand. Then with a wooden foot, and...

For ten years Caesar ruled with an iron hand. Then with a wooden foot, and...

My Father had a profound influence on me, he was a lunatic.

My Father had a profound influence on me, he was a lunatic.

Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of...

Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of...

I'm not afraid of dying I just don't want to be there when it happens.

I'm not afraid of dying I just don't want to be there when it happens.

All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it's all in perfect working order.

Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it's all in perfect working order.