And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said he would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.

Quote by Spike Milligan

Topics: Funny Quotes, God Quotes

Money couldn't buy you friends, but you get a better class of enemy.

Money couldn't buy you friends, but you get a better class of enemy.

I thought I'd begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why...

I thought I'd begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why...

I shook hands with a friendly Arab. I still have my right arm to prove...

I shook hands with a friendly Arab. I still have my right arm to prove...

Money can't buy friends but it can get you a better class of enemy.

Money can't buy friends but it can get you a better class of enemy.

Money can't buy friends but it can get you a better class of enemy

Money can't buy friends but it can get you a better class of enemy

For ten years Caesar ruled with an iron hand. Then with a wooden foot, and...

For ten years Caesar ruled with an iron hand. Then with a wooden foot, and...

Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.

Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy

Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of...

Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of...

It was a perfect marriage. She didn't want to and he couldn't.

It was a perfect marriage. She didn't want to and he couldn't.

It's all in the mind, you know.

It's all in the mind, you know.

My Father had a profound influence on me, he was a lunatic.

My Father had a profound influence on me, he was a lunatic.

I'm a hero with coward's legs.

I'm a hero with coward's legs.

I can speak Esperanto like a native.

I can speak Esperanto like a native.

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy

How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.

How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

This silent call you make, A silence so loud I fear the world knows it's...

This silent call you make, A silence so loud I fear the world knows it's...

Decency is indecency's conspiracy of silence

Decency is indecency's conspiracy of silence

Lying is done with words and also with silence.

Lying is done with words and also with silence.