And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said he would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.

Quote by Spike Milligan

Topics: Funny Quotes, God Quotes

Money couldn't buy you friends, but you get a better class of enemy.

Money couldn't buy you friends, but you get a better class of enemy.

Money couldn't buy friends, but you got a better class of enemy.

Money couldn't buy friends, but you got a better class of enemy.

My Father had a profound influence on me, he was a lunatic.

My Father had a profound influence on me, he was a lunatic.

Money can't buy friends but it can get you a better class of enemy.

Money can't buy friends but it can get you a better class of enemy.

A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.

A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.

How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.

How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.

Money can't buy friends but it can get you a better class of enemy

Money can't buy friends but it can get you a better class of enemy

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy

The Grand Old Duke of York He had ten thousand men. His case comes up...

The Grand Old Duke of York He had ten thousand men. His case comes up...

It's all in the mind, you know.

It's all in the mind, you know.

I'm not afraid of dying I just don't want to be there when it happens.

I'm not afraid of dying I just don't want to be there when it happens.

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy

Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of...

Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of...

It was a perfect marriage. She didn't want to and he couldn't.

It was a perfect marriage. She didn't want to and he couldn't.

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy

All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

I can speak Esperanto like a native.

I can speak Esperanto like a native.

Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.

Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.

I'm a hero with coward's legs.

I'm a hero with coward's legs.

I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge.

I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge.