Quotes by Groucho Marx

Ever since they found out that Lassie was a boy, the public has believed the...

#Funny, #Hollywood

Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.

#Funny, #Intelligence

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

#Funny, #Jokes

The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've...

#Famous, #Funny

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was...

#Funny, #Putdowns

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an...

#Funny, #Putdowns

Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to...

#Age, #Funny

When I was young I was amazed at Plutarch's statement that the elder Cato began...

#Age, #Funny

Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men, the other 999 follow...

#Men And Women

I must confess, I was born at a very early age.

#Age, #Funny

Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men, the other 999 follow...

#Women

I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can...

#Happiness