Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

Quote by Phyllis Diller

Topics: Phyllis Diller Quotes

There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions...

There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions...

I asked the waiter, 'Is this milk fresh?' He said, 'Lady, three hours ago it...

I asked the waiter, 'Is this milk fresh?' He said, 'Lady, three hours ago it...

I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about...

I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about...

You know you're old if they have discontinued your blood type.

You know you're old if they have discontinued your blood type.

If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like.

If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like.

The real reason your pro tells you to keep your head down is so you...

The real reason your pro tells you to keep your head down is so you...

He has so many muscles he has to make an appointment to move his fingers.

He has so many muscles he has to make an appointment to move his fingers.

Any time three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument, a bank has...

Any time three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument, a bank has...

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor

What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next...

What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next...

Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing...

Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing...

I'm eighteen years behind in my ironing.

I'm eighteen years behind in my ironing.

What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next...

What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next...

Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out.

Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out.

Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing...

Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing...

It's a good thing that beauty is only skin deep, or I'd be rotten to...

It's a good thing that beauty is only skin deep, or I'd be rotten to...

There's so little money in my bank account, my scenic checks show a ghetto.

There's so little money in my bank account, my scenic checks show a ghetto.

Health - what my friends are always drinking to before they fall down.

Health - what my friends are always drinking to before they fall down.

When I needed you most when I needed a friend, you let me down now...

When I needed you most when I needed a friend, you let me down now...

It's always a little difficult but that happens. You play your doubles partner, you play...

It's always a little difficult but that happens. You play your doubles partner, you play...