The more you think about things, the weirder they seem. Take this milk. Why do we drink *cow* milk?? Who was the guy who first looked at a cow and said, I think I'll drink whatever comes out of these…
Quote by Bill Watterson
I know the world isn't fair, but why isn't it ever unfair in my favor?
I find my life is a lot easier the lower I keep everyone's expectations.
Heck, what's a little extortion among friends?
God put me on this earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now...
If your knees aren't green by the end of the day, you ought to seriously...
A real job is a job you hate.
There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want.
By golly, life's too darn short to waste time trying to please every meddlesome moron...
Oh look, yet another Christmas TV special! How touching to have the meaning of Christmas...
If life is just a stage, then we are all running around ad-libbing, with absolutely...
That's the difference between me and the rest of the world! Happiness isn't good enough...
I'm yet another resource-consuming kid in an overpopulated planet, raised to an alarming extent by...
Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is...
Letting your mind play is the best way to solve problems.
Nothing helps a bad mood like spreading it around.
I like these cold, gray winter days. Days like these let you savor a bad...
I've got to start listening to those quiet, nagging doubts.
Why waste time learning, when ignorance is instantaneous?
It's surprising how hard we'll work when the work is done just for ourselves.
Mothers are the necessity of invention.