The more you think about things, the weirder they seem. Take this milk. Why do we drink *cow* milk?? Who was the guy who first looked at a cow and said, I think I'll drink whatever comes out of these…
Quote by Bill Watterson
When birds burp, it must taste like bugs.
It's not denial. I'm just selective about the reality I accept.
I'm not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.
From now on, I'll connect the dots my own way.
Heck, what's a little extortion among friends?
A real job is a job you hate.
Genius is never understood in its own time.
If your knees aren't green by the end of the day, you ought to seriously...
Getting an inch of snow is like winning 10 cents in the lottery.
Reading those turgid philosophers here in these remote stone buildings may not get you a...
Know what's weird? Day by day, nothing seems to change. But pretty soon, everything's different.
That's the whole problem with science. You've got a bunch of empiricists trying to describe...
If life is just a stage, then we are all running around ad-libbing, with absolutely...
There is not enough time to do all the nothing we want to do.
If you can't control your peanut butter, you can't expect to control your life.
It seems like once people grow up, they have no idea what's cool.
I used to make original snowmen, but it was time consuming, hard work. So I...
Letting your mind play is the best way to solve problems.
Shutting off the thought process is not rejuvenating; the mind is like a car battery...
Nothing helps a bad mood like spreading it around.