I like these cold, gray winter days. Days like these let you savor a bad mood.
Quote by Bill Watterson
The more you think about things, the weirder they seem. Take this milk. Why do...
Getting an inch of snow is like winning 10 cents in the lottery.
There is not enough time to do all the nothing we want to do.
I know the world isn't fair, but why isn't it ever unfair in my favor?
When birds burp, it must taste like bugs.
The problem with the future is that it keeps turning into the present.
Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is...
I think we dream so we don't have to be apart so long. If we're...
By golly, life's too darn short to waste time trying to please every meddlesome moron...
We all have different desires and needs, but if we don't discover what we want...
Oh look, yet another Christmas TV special! How touching to have the meaning of Christmas...
There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want.
Shutting off the thought process is not rejuvenating; the mind is like a car battery...
We don't devote enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks.
I won't eat any cereal that doesn't turn the milk purple.
If you can't control your peanut butter, you can't expect to control your life.
Often it takes some calamity to make us live in the present. Then suddenly we...
Genius is never understood in its own time.
I'm not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.
From now on, I'll connect the dots my own way.