What's another word for Thesaurus?

Quote by Steven Wright

Topics: Steven Wright Quotes

Babies don't need a vacation, but I still see them at the beach... it pisses...

Babies don't need a vacation, but I still see them at the beach... it pisses...

I got this powdered water - now I don't know what to add.

I got this powdered water - now I don't know what to add.

It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to have to paint it.

It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to have to paint it.

Sponges grow in the ocean. That just kills me. I wonder how much deeper the...

Sponges grow in the ocean. That just kills me. I wonder how much deeper the...

Last year I went fishing with Salvador Dali. He was using a dotted line. He...

Last year I went fishing with Salvador Dali. He was using a dotted line. He...

If you are in a spaceship that is traveling at the speed of light, and...

If you are in a spaceship that is traveling at the speed of light, and...

I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.

I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.

I was a peripheral visionary. I could see the future, but only way off to...

I was a peripheral visionary. I could see the future, but only way off to...

I intend to live forever. So far, so good.

I intend to live forever. So far, so good.

So, do you live around here often?

So, do you live around here often?

When I was in high school, I got in trouble with my girlfriend's Dad. He...

When I was in high school, I got in trouble with my girlfriend's Dad. He...

I like to reminisce with people I don't know.

I like to reminisce with people I don't know.

Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time.

Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time.

I poured spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.

I poured spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.

I was walking down the street wearing glasses when the prescription ran out.

I was walking down the street wearing glasses when the prescription ran out.

Is it weird in here, or is it just me?

Is it weird in here, or is it just me?

I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday.'

I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday.'

When I die, I'm leaving my body to science fiction.

When I die, I'm leaving my body to science fiction.

I installed a skylight in my apartment... the people who live above me are furious!

I installed a skylight in my apartment... the people who live above me are furious!

Ever notice how irons have a setting for permanent press? I don't get it.

Ever notice how irons have a setting for permanent press? I don't get it.