Getting an inch of snow is like winning 10 cents in the lottery.
Quote by Bill Watterson
Weekends don't count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless.
I won't eat any cereal that doesn't turn the milk purple.
I'm not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.
I thought my life would seem more interesting with a musical score and a laugh...
I liked things better when I didn't understand them.
The syndicates take the strip and sell it to newspapers and split the income with...
From now on, I'll connect the dots my own way.
I've got to start listening to those quiet, nagging doubts.
I know the world isn't fair, but why isn't it ever unfair in my favor?
If you can't control your peanut butter, you can't expect to control your life.
I used to make original snowmen, but it was time consuming, hard work. So I...
There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want.
Mothers are the necessity of invention.
If people sat outside and looked at the stars each night, I'll bet they'd live...
It seems like once people grow up, they have no idea what's cool.
You should stick with what you enjoy, what you find funny -- that's the humor...
God put me on this earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now...
Sometimes when I'm talking, my words can't keep up with my thoughts. I wonder why...
Shutting off the thought process is not rejuvenating; the mind is like a car battery...
It's not denial. I'm just selective about the reality I accept.