It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.

Quote by Groucho Marx

Topics: Groucho Marx Quotes

Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men, the other 999 follow...

Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men, the other 999 follow...

I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can...

I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can...

Women should be obscene and not heard.

Women should be obscene and not heard.

Home is where you hang your head

Home is where you hang your head

If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it...

If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it...

Why a four-year-old child could understand this report. Run out and find me a four-year-old...

Why a four-year-old child could understand this report. Run out and find me a four-year-old...

Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book -and does

Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book -and does

I could dance till the cows come home. On second thought, I'd rather dance with...

I could dance till the cows come home. On second thought, I'd rather dance with...

Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?

Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does.

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does.

A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.

A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.

Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for...

Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for...

Marriage is a wonderful institution...but who wants to live in an institution?

Marriage is a wonderful institution...but who wants to live in an institution?

A man's only as old as the woman he feels.

A man's only as old as the woman he feels.

Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.

Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.

All people are born alike - except Republicans and Democrats.

All people are born alike - except Republicans and Democrats.

Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.

Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.

There's one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him. If...

There's one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him. If...

If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.

If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.