Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book -and does

Quote by Groucho Marx

Topics: Groucho Marx Quotes

If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it...

If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it...

Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to...

Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to...

Humor is reason gone mad.

Humor is reason gone mad.

It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.

It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an...

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an...

Remember men, we're fighting for this woman's honor; which is probably more than she ever...

Remember men, we're fighting for this woman's honor; which is probably more than she ever...

I've learned that everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the...

I've learned that everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the...

Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.

Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.

Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for...

Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for...

All people are born alike - except Republicans and Democrats.

All people are born alike - except Republicans and Democrats.

I've got the brain of a four year old. I'll bet he was glad to...

I've got the brain of a four year old. I'll bet he was glad to...

I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.

I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.

Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.

Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.

No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early.

No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early.

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I was...

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I was...

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

Dont ever underestimate the importance of money. I know its often been said that money...

Dont ever underestimate the importance of money. I know its often been said that money...

There are short-cuts to happiness, and dancing is one of them.

There are short-cuts to happiness, and dancing is one of them.

All good things must come to an end, but all bad things can continue forever.

All good things must come to an end, but all bad things can continue forever.

Everyone chases after happiness, not noticing that happiness is right at their heels.

Everyone chases after happiness, not noticing that happiness is right at their heels.

I think one way the cops could make money would be to hold a murder...

I think one way the cops could make money would be to hold a murder...