Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book -and does

Quote by Groucho Marx

Topics: Groucho Marx Quotes

No man goes before his time unless the boss leaves early.

No man goes before his time unless the boss leaves early.

Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men, the other 999 follow...

Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men, the other 999 follow...

Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!

Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!

Youre a woman whos been getting nothing but dirty breaks. Well, we can clean and...

Youre a woman whos been getting nothing but dirty breaks. Well, we can clean and...

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into...

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into...

Remember men, we're fighting for this woman's honor; which is probably more than she ever...

Remember men, we're fighting for this woman's honor; which is probably more than she ever...

Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.

Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.

I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.

I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.

I've learned that everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the...

I've learned that everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the...

Blood's not thicker than money.

Blood's not thicker than money.

Money will not make you happy, and happy will not make you money.

Money will not make you happy, and happy will not make you money.

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I was...

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I was...

I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.

I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.

I have nothing but confidence in you, and very little of that

I have nothing but confidence in you, and very little of that

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an...

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an...

I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.

I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.

I chased a girl for two years only to discover that her tastes were exactly...

I chased a girl for two years only to discover that her tastes were exactly...

Never raise your hand to your children - it leaves your midsection unprotected.

Never raise your hand to your children - it leaves your midsection unprotected.

The body of a young woman is God's greatest achievement. Of course He could have...

The body of a young woman is God's greatest achievement. Of course He could have...

Patience makes a women beautiful in middle age

Patience makes a women beautiful in middle age