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She needs open-heart surgery, and they should go in through her feet.

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She needs open-heart surgery, and they should go in through her feet.

She's got a great looking husband, a little boy and all the money in the...

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She's got a great looking husband, a little boy and all the money in the...

Joan Collins unfortunately can't be with us tonight. She's busy attending the birth of her...

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Joan Collins unfortunately can't be with us tonight. She's busy attending the birth of her...

If life were fair, Dan Quayle would be making a living asking 'Do you want...

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If life were fair, Dan Quayle would be making a living asking 'Do you want...

She's so pure, Moses couldn't even part her knees.

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She's so pure, Moses couldn't even part her knees.

He has so many muscles he has to make an appointment to move his fingers.

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He has so many muscles he has to make an appointment to move his fingers.

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an...

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I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an...

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was...

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From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was...

Breasts like granite and a brain like swiss cheese.

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Breasts like granite and a brain like swiss cheese.

Bush said today he is being stalked. He said wherever he goes, people are following...

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Bush said today he is being stalked. He said wherever he goes, people are following...

I'm as pure as the driven slush.

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I'm as pure as the driven slush.

I'd love to kiss you, but I just washed my hair.

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I'd love to kiss you, but I just washed my hair.

I do not know the American gentleman, God forgive me for putting two such words...

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I do not know the American gentleman, God forgive me for putting two such words...

He'd make a lovely corpse.

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He'd make a lovely corpse.

The right honourable gentleman is reminiscent of a poker. The only difference is that a...

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The right honourable gentleman is reminiscent of a poker. The only difference is that a...

I'm a one-man idiot.

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I'm a one-man idiot.

If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?

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If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?

Some refer to it as a cultural Chernobyl. I think of it as a cultural...

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Some refer to it as a cultural Chernobyl. I think of it as a cultural...