Last year I went fishing with Salvador Dali. He was using a dotted line. He caught every other fish.
Quote by Steven Wright
Steven Wright Quotes
At one point he decided enough was enough.
It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to have to paint it.
When I was in high school, I got in trouble with my girlfriend's Dad. He...
I went down the street to the 24-hour grocery. When I got there, the guy...
Sponges grow in the ocean. That just kills me. I wonder how much deeper the...
I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the...
How to make a million dollars: First, get a million dollars.
If you shoot at mimes, should you use a silencer?
I think it's wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly.
I had to stop driving my car for a while... the tires got dizzy.
Ever notice how irons have a setting for permanent press? I don't get it.
I have an existential map. It has 'You are here' written all over it.
I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm...
If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?
I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
I went to a restaurant that serves reakfast at any time. So I ordered French...
My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere.
Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.
The pyramids themselves, doting with age, have forgotten the names of their founders.
If I had my life to live over again, I'd be a plumber.
Example isn't another way to teach, it is the only way to teach.