It doesn't matter what temperature the room is, it's always room temperature.

Quote by Steven Wright

Topics: Steven Wright Quotes

Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.

Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.

I went to the museum where they had all the heads and arms from the...

I went to the museum where they had all the heads and arms from the...

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens...

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens...

Last year I went fishing with Salvador Dali. He was using a dotted line. He...

Last year I went fishing with Salvador Dali. He was using a dotted line. He...

I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography.

I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography.

Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?

Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?

I went down the street to the 24-hour grocery. When I got there, the guy...

I went down the street to the 24-hour grocery. When I got there, the guy...

I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he...

I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he...

So, do you live around here often?

So, do you live around here often?

Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country.

Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country.

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit...

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit...

I think it's wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly.

I think it's wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly.

I went to a restaurant that serves reakfast at any time. So I ordered French...

I went to a restaurant that serves reakfast at any time. So I ordered French...

How young can you die of old age?

How young can you die of old age?

I had a friend who was a clown. When he died, all his friends went...

I had a friend who was a clown. When he died, all his friends went...

For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier... I put them in the...

For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier... I put them in the...

If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back?

If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back?

If you are in a spaceship that is traveling at the speed of light, and...

If you are in a spaceship that is traveling at the speed of light, and...

I was a peripheral visionary. I could see the future, but only way off to...

I was a peripheral visionary. I could see the future, but only way off to...

I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street when suddenly the prescription ran...

I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street when suddenly the prescription ran...