What's the three words you never want to hear while making love? Honey, I'm home.

Quote by Ken Hammond

Topics: Funny Quotes, Funny Sayings Quotes, Sex Quotes

What's the three words you never want to hear while making love? Honey, I'm home.

What's the three words you never want to hear while making love? Honey, I'm home.

Your families are extremely proud of you. You can't imagine the sense of relief they...

Your families are extremely proud of you. You can't imagine the sense of relief they...

Employees make the best dates. You don't have to pick them up and they're always...

Employees make the best dates. You don't have to pick them up and they're always...

And my parents finally realise that I'm kidnapped and they snap into action immediately: they...

And my parents finally realise that I'm kidnapped and they snap into action immediately: they...

I can stand brute force, but brute reason is quite unbearable. There is something unfair...

I can stand brute force, but brute reason is quite unbearable. There is something unfair...

From birth to age 18, a girl needs good parents, from 18 to 35 she...

From birth to age 18, a girl needs good parents, from 18 to 35 she...

Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything...

Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything...

The fact that poetry is not of the slightest economic or political importance, that is...

The fact that poetry is not of the slightest economic or political importance, that is...

A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.

A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.

It is possible that mankind is on the threshold of a golden age; but, if...

It is possible that mankind is on the threshold of a golden age; but, if...

When I was in high school, I got in trouble with my girlfriend's Dad. He...

When I was in high school, I got in trouble with my girlfriend's Dad. He...

Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.

Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.

If all the atoms in the universe were transformed into breasts, there would still not...

If all the atoms in the universe were transformed into breasts, there would still not...

Ghosts, like ladies, never speak till spoke to.

Ghosts, like ladies, never speak till spoke to.

When marrying, one should ask oneself this question: Do you believe that you will be...

When marrying, one should ask oneself this question: Do you believe that you will be...

A woman knows she's wearing the right dress, when her man wants to take it...

A woman knows she's wearing the right dress, when her man wants to take it...

Humans are the only animal who can have sex over the phone.

Humans are the only animal who can have sex over the phone.

Last night I dreamed I ate a ten-pound marshmallow, and when I woke up the...

Last night I dreamed I ate a ten-pound marshmallow, and when I woke up the...

Look, if I'd wanted a lecture on the rights of man, I'd have gone to...

Look, if I'd wanted a lecture on the rights of man, I'd have gone to...

I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was, 'the...

I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was, 'the...

When you get to fifty-two food becomes more important than sex.

When you get to fifty-two food becomes more important than sex.