Last night I dreamed I ate a ten-pound marshmallow, and when I woke up the pillow was gone.

Quote by Tommy Cooper

Topics: Funny Quotes, Sleep Quotes

So he said 'I'm going to chop off the bottom of one of your trouser...

So he said 'I'm going to chop off the bottom of one of your trouser...

A woman tells her doctor, 'I've got a bad back.' The doctor says, 'It's old...

A woman tells her doctor, 'I've got a bad back.' The doctor says, 'It's old...

A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog...

A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog...

Cos it's strange, isn't it. You stand in the middle of a library and go...

Cos it's strange, isn't it. You stand in the middle of a library and go...

I inherited a painting and a violin which turned out to be a Rembrandt and...

I inherited a painting and a violin which turned out to be a Rembrandt and...

So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me Can you...

So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me Can you...

A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog...

A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog...

I went window shopping today! I bought four windows.

I went window shopping today! I bought four windows.

And the back of his anorak was leaping up and down, and people were chucking...

And the back of his anorak was leaping up and down, and people were chucking...

You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note...

You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note...

I used to be indecisive but now I am not quite sure.

I used to be indecisive but now I am not quite sure.

Last night I dreamt I ate a ten pound marshmallow. When I woke up the...

Last night I dreamt I ate a ten pound marshmallow. When I woke up the...

I went into a French restaraunt and asked the waiter, 'Have you got frog's legs?'...

I went into a French restaraunt and asked the waiter, 'Have you got frog's legs?'...

Well, my wife and I were married in a toilet - it was a marriage...

Well, my wife and I were married in a toilet - it was a marriage...

I slept like a log last night. I woke up in the fireplace.

I slept like a log last night. I woke up in the fireplace.

So a man jumps into a taxi and says King Arthur's close and the taxi...

So a man jumps into a taxi and says King Arthur's close and the taxi...

I had a dream last night, I was eating a ten pound marshmallow. I woke...

I had a dream last night, I was eating a ten pound marshmallow. I woke...

You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note...

You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note...

I look at going to Hollywood as going behind enemy lines. You parachute in, set...

I look at going to Hollywood as going behind enemy lines. You parachute in, set...

There has never been an age that did not applaud the past and lament the...

There has never been an age that did not applaud the past and lament the...

You know, by the time you reach my age, you've made plenty of mistakes if...

You know, by the time you reach my age, you've made plenty of mistakes if...