Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything that's down can come up.

Quote by George Burns

Topics: Age Quotes, Funny Quotes

I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.

I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.

You've got to be honest; if you can fake that, you've got it made.

You've got to be honest; if you can fake that, you've got it made.

I don't believe in dying. It's been done. I'm working on a new exit. Besides,...

I don't believe in dying. It's been done. I'm working on a new exit. Besides,...

I'd rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I...

I'd rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I...

When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.

When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.

Be quick to learn and wise to know.

Be quick to learn and wise to know.

If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die...

If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die...

I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.

I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.

When I was young I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my...

When I was young I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my...

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember...

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember...

How can I die? I'm booked.

How can I die? I'm booked.

Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you've got it made.

Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you've got it made.

If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have...

If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have...

Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy...

Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy...

Actually, it only takes one drink to get me loaded. Trouble is, I can't remember...

Actually, it only takes one drink to get me loaded. Trouble is, I can't remember...

If it's a good script I'll do it. And if it's a bad script, and...

If it's a good script I'll do it. And if it's a bad script, and...

Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy running...

Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy running...

How beautifully leaves grow old. How full of light and color are their last days.

How beautifully leaves grow old. How full of light and color are their last days.

The most important thing in acting is honesty. If you can fake that, you've got...

The most important thing in acting is honesty. If you can fake that, you've got...

This is the sixth book I've written, which isn't bad for a guy who's only...

This is the sixth book I've written, which isn't bad for a guy who's only...