A man is never drunk if he can lay on the floor without holding on.

Quote by Joe E Lewis

Topics: Joe E Lewis Quotes

Whenever someone asks me if I want water with my Scotch, I say I'm thirsty,...

Whenever someone asks me if I want water with my Scotch, I say I'm thirsty,...

I play in the low 80s. If it's any hotter than that, I won't play.

I play in the low 80s. If it's any hotter than that, I won't play.

It doesn't matter whether you are rich or poor as long as you've got money.

It doesn't matter whether you are rich or poor as long as you've got money.

I've been on such a losing streak that if I had been around I would...

I've been on such a losing streak that if I had been around I would...

I always wake up at the crack of ice.

I always wake up at the crack of ice.

The way taxes are, you might as well marry for love.

The way taxes are, you might as well marry for love.

It doesn't matter whether you are rich or poor - as long as you've got...

It doesn't matter whether you are rich or poor - as long as you've got...

I would take a bomb, but I can't stand the noise.

I would take a bomb, but I can't stand the noise.

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so...

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so...

I don't like money actually, but it quiets the nerves.

I don't like money actually, but it quiets the nerves.

Adlai Stevenson has a genius for saying the right thing, at the right time, to...

Adlai Stevenson has a genius for saying the right thing, at the right time, to...

I drink to forget I drink.

I drink to forget I drink.

I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days...

I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days...

Show me a man with very little money and I will show you a bum.

Show me a man with very little money and I will show you a bum.

I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink.

I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink.

You are only young once, and if you work it right, once is enough.

You are only young once, and if you work it right, once is enough.

I'm still chasing girls. I don't remember what for, but I'm still chasing them.

I'm still chasing girls. I don't remember what for, but I'm still chasing them.

It pays to get drunk with the best people.

It pays to get drunk with the best people.

They had me on the operating table all day. They looked into my stomach, my...

They had me on the operating table all day. They looked into my stomach, my...

Show me a man with both feet on the ground and I'll show you a...

Show me a man with both feet on the ground and I'll show you a...