I always wake up at the crack of ice.

Quote by Joe E Lewis

Topics: Joe E Lewis Quotes

Show me a friend in need and I'll show you a pest.

Show me a friend in need and I'll show you a pest.

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so...

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so...

Show me a man with very little money and I will show you a bum.

Show me a man with very little money and I will show you a bum.

I would take a bomb, but I can't stand the noise.

I would take a bomb, but I can't stand the noise.

It doesn't matter whether you are rich or poor as long as you've got money.

It doesn't matter whether you are rich or poor as long as you've got money.

You only live once - but if you work it right, once is enough.

You only live once - but if you work it right, once is enough.

It doesn't matter whether you are rich or poor - as long as you've got...

It doesn't matter whether you are rich or poor - as long as you've got...

There's only one thing money won't buy, and that is poverty.

There's only one thing money won't buy, and that is poverty.

It pays to get drunk with the best people.

It pays to get drunk with the best people.

You are only young once, and if you work it right, once is enough.

You are only young once, and if you work it right, once is enough.

I've been on such a losing streak that if I had been around I would...

I've been on such a losing streak that if I had been around I would...

I don't drink any more than the man next to me, and the man next...

I don't drink any more than the man next to me, and the man next...

I don't like money actually, but it quiets the nerves.

I don't like money actually, but it quiets the nerves.

The way taxes are, you might as well marry for love.

The way taxes are, you might as well marry for love.

We can afford almost any mistake once.

We can afford almost any mistake once.

I'm still chasing girls. I don't remember what for, but I'm still chasing them.

I'm still chasing girls. I don't remember what for, but I'm still chasing them.

I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink.

I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink.

Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will...

Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will...

Did you ever notice that life seems to follow certain patterns? Like I noticed that...

Did you ever notice that life seems to follow certain patterns? Like I noticed that...

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.