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I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink.

I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink.

Show me a man with very little money and I will show you a bum.

Show me a man with very little money and I will show you a bum.

They had me on the operating table all day. They looked into my stomach, my...

They had me on the operating table all day. They looked into my stomach, my...

We can afford almost any mistake once.

We can afford almost any mistake once.

Whenever someone asks me if I want water with my Scotch, I say I'm thirsty,...

Whenever someone asks me if I want water with my Scotch, I say I'm thirsty,...

You are only young once, and if you work it right, once is enough.

You are only young once, and if you work it right, once is enough.

A man is never drunk if he can lay on the floor without holding on.

A man is never drunk if he can lay on the floor without holding on.

Adlai Stevenson has a genius for saying the right thing, at the right time, to...

Adlai Stevenson has a genius for saying the right thing, at the right time, to...

You only live once - but if you work it right, once is enough.

,

You only live once - but if you work it right, once is enough.

I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days...

, ,

I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days...

I drink to forget I drink.

I drink to forget I drink.

I don't drink any more than the man next to me, and the man next...

I don't drink any more than the man next to me, and the man next...

There's only one thing money won't buy, and that is poverty.

There's only one thing money won't buy, and that is poverty.

It doesn't matter whether you are rich or poor as long as you've got money.

It doesn't matter whether you are rich or poor as long as you've got money.

Show me a friend in need and I'll show you a pest.

,

Show me a friend in need and I'll show you a pest.

The way taxes are, you might as well marry for love.

The way taxes are, you might as well marry for love.

Show me a man with both feet on the ground and I'll show you a...

Show me a man with both feet on the ground and I'll show you a...

I always wake up at the crack of ice.

I always wake up at the crack of ice.