Show me a man with both feet on the ground and I'll show you a man who can't get his pants on.

Quote by Joe E Lewis

Topics: Joe E Lewis Quotes

We can afford almost any mistake once.

We can afford almost any mistake once.

I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days...

I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days...

I would take a bomb, but I can't stand the noise.

I would take a bomb, but I can't stand the noise.

I'm still chasing girls. I don't remember what for, but I'm still chasing them.

I'm still chasing girls. I don't remember what for, but I'm still chasing them.

There's only one thing money won't buy, and that is poverty.

There's only one thing money won't buy, and that is poverty.

Adlai Stevenson has a genius for saying the right thing, at the right time, to...

Adlai Stevenson has a genius for saying the right thing, at the right time, to...

I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink.

I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink.

I've been on such a losing streak that if I had been around I would...

I've been on such a losing streak that if I had been around I would...

A man is never drunk if he can lay on the floor without holding on.

A man is never drunk if he can lay on the floor without holding on.

The way taxes are, you might as well marry for love.

The way taxes are, you might as well marry for love.

It doesn't matter whether you are rich or poor as long as you've got money.

It doesn't matter whether you are rich or poor as long as you've got money.

You only live once - but if you work it right, once is enough.

You only live once - but if you work it right, once is enough.

It doesn't matter whether you are rich or poor - as long as you've got...

It doesn't matter whether you are rich or poor - as long as you've got...

I always wake up at the crack of ice.

I always wake up at the crack of ice.

I don't drink any more than the man next to me, and the man next...

I don't drink any more than the man next to me, and the man next...

It pays to get drunk with the best people.

It pays to get drunk with the best people.

They had me on the operating table all day. They looked into my stomach, my...

They had me on the operating table all day. They looked into my stomach, my...

Show me a man with very little money and I will show you a bum.

Show me a man with very little money and I will show you a bum.

You are only young once, and if you work it right, once is enough.

You are only young once, and if you work it right, once is enough.

Whenever someone asks me if I want water with my Scotch, I say I'm thirsty,...

Whenever someone asks me if I want water with my Scotch, I say I'm thirsty,...