A man is never drunk if he can lay on the floor without holding on.

Quote by Joe E Lewis

Topics: Joe E Lewis Quotes

I would take a bomb, but I can't stand the noise.

I would take a bomb, but I can't stand the noise.

It doesn't matter whether you are rich or poor as long as you've got money.

It doesn't matter whether you are rich or poor as long as you've got money.

Show me a man with both feet on the ground and I'll show you a...

Show me a man with both feet on the ground and I'll show you a...

I drink to forget I drink.

I drink to forget I drink.

Show me a friend in need and I'll show you a pest.

Show me a friend in need and I'll show you a pest.

There's only one thing money won't buy, and that is poverty.

There's only one thing money won't buy, and that is poverty.

I'm still chasing girls. I don't remember what for, but I'm still chasing them.

I'm still chasing girls. I don't remember what for, but I'm still chasing them.

The way taxes are, you might as well marry for love.

The way taxes are, you might as well marry for love.

It pays to get drunk with the best people.

It pays to get drunk with the best people.

I don't like money actually, but it quiets the nerves.

I don't like money actually, but it quiets the nerves.

You only live once - but if you work it right, once is enough.

You only live once - but if you work it right, once is enough.

Whenever someone asks me if I want water with my Scotch, I say I'm thirsty,...

Whenever someone asks me if I want water with my Scotch, I say I'm thirsty,...

Adlai Stevenson has a genius for saying the right thing, at the right time, to...

Adlai Stevenson has a genius for saying the right thing, at the right time, to...

You are only young once, and if you work it right, once is enough.

You are only young once, and if you work it right, once is enough.

I don't drink any more than the man next to me, and the man next...

I don't drink any more than the man next to me, and the man next...

I always wake up at the crack of ice.

I always wake up at the crack of ice.

Show me a man with very little money and I will show you a bum.

Show me a man with very little money and I will show you a bum.

I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days...

I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days...

I have been on diets that were supervised by doctors, that were carefully supervised where...

I have been on diets that were supervised by doctors, that were carefully supervised where...

Look at the average American diet: ice cream, butter, cheese, whole milk, all this fat....

Look at the average American diet: ice cream, butter, cheese, whole milk, all this fat....

Responsible Drinking? Now that's an Oxymoron.

Responsible Drinking? Now that's an Oxymoron.

During a test when the teacher passes by, you cover your answers with your hand...

During a test when the teacher passes by, you cover your answers with your hand...