A man is never drunk if he can lay on the floor without holding on.

Quote by Joe E Lewis

Topics: Joe E Lewis Quotes

Whenever someone asks me if I want water with my Scotch, I say I'm thirsty,...

Whenever someone asks me if I want water with my Scotch, I say I'm thirsty,...

There's only one thing money won't buy, and that is poverty.

There's only one thing money won't buy, and that is poverty.

The way taxes are, you might as well marry for love.

The way taxes are, you might as well marry for love.

I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days...

I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days...

I would take a bomb, but I can't stand the noise.

I would take a bomb, but I can't stand the noise.

I'm still chasing girls. I don't remember what for, but I'm still chasing them.

I'm still chasing girls. I don't remember what for, but I'm still chasing them.

It doesn't matter whether you are rich or poor as long as you've got money.

It doesn't matter whether you are rich or poor as long as you've got money.

I've been on such a losing streak that if I had been around I would...

I've been on such a losing streak that if I had been around I would...

It doesn't matter whether you are rich or poor - as long as you've got...

It doesn't matter whether you are rich or poor - as long as you've got...

Adlai Stevenson has a genius for saying the right thing, at the right time, to...

Adlai Stevenson has a genius for saying the right thing, at the right time, to...

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so...

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so...

We can afford almost any mistake once.

We can afford almost any mistake once.

I don't drink any more than the man next to me, and the man next...

I don't drink any more than the man next to me, and the man next...

You are only young once, and if you work it right, once is enough.

You are only young once, and if you work it right, once is enough.

Show me a friend in need and I'll show you a pest.

Show me a friend in need and I'll show you a pest.

I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink.

I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink.

I always wake up at the crack of ice.

I always wake up at the crack of ice.

It pays to get drunk with the best people.

It pays to get drunk with the best people.

Show me a man with very little money and I will show you a bum.

Show me a man with very little money and I will show you a bum.

They had me on the operating table all day. They looked into my stomach, my...

They had me on the operating table all day. They looked into my stomach, my...